It's been two months and twenty-seven days since I found out he'll never come back. I am starting to slowly forget how he smelled. His laughter. His swimming technique. His dreamy eyes. His deep voice. Strong body. Everything seems so far away. It's all just a blur to me now. Like a sweet dream. Like when you have the best dream and can still remember it a little when you wake up. He is like the main part of that dream I keep preserving in my mind. I know it will all go away one day, I probably won't even know and realize when. But I think this part is the scariest one. Because I can still remember the way my heart started to beat when I saw him walking across the bleachers. The feeling in my stomach. The adrenaline pumping through my veins. And I miss that feeling. I used to hate it when he was still here and all I'd do all day was sitting in the middle of a class, daydreaming how I am gonna dress for today's practice to impress him. Or what I'm gonna say ...