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What's the point of all this?

 Thinking about a subject to write about is the hardest thing ever. You think about so many things through the day, when you just don't have the access to your computer directly, yet have an empty head when you decide to write something. Something that you might have had experienced in the last days, something that you've realized or discovered, something you wanna share with people or just something pathetic that you want to whine about when you have no place else to go. Even when internet is the worst place you can go. You should runaway to books and music and normal stuff like that. But no. Not for me, at least. The only thing that kinda calms me down or where I can, ironically, feel safe, is the internet. This site, actually. I know this is the worst place I could ever run to, but the funny thing is I actually believe someone here would maybe understand be better than someone in real life. Because somehow you don't know anyone here and it is kinda allowed to you to be sad here. In person, I'd rather stay quiet than explain my problems to people who don't care.

 But when you just look out of your window you see so many things you could write about. Just the thought of everything can change into a beautiful essay of your point of view on things. That is the magical thing about essays and things like blogs. You can express yourself, your darkest secrets (even though that is not always the right thing to do), you can free yourself here. Even if you don't have the gift (you don't have to be born with the talent to be a great writer), you can put together a wonderful story. A story or experience, point of view, things you want to let out of your chest... And many more. I think it is right things like Blogger exist. Some people can't write a book about their feelings, but maybe they can put it into short stories, like blogs. It's a wonderful opportunity to start over, too. I often realize my mistake through writing. I often think about it and then force myself to do the right thing.
 It also helps me see the beautiful things in life we often overlook. Sometimes we only see bad things going on around us and/or that only bad things do happen do us. But if you think twice; there is always, always, something we can lean on to. Something to hold on to, something to be happy about. You always have to look on the bright side of some thing that happened. There are always two sides to everything and there is always a reason something happened. There's always a lesson.

 So I think this is a great way of expressing yourself. But there is always doubt, too. I often think  (and I bet many other bloggers too), that no one ever reads this. That I am just talking to myself. If there was any sign that anyone has read any of my subjects, like really read, it would mean the world to me. But that's the funny thing. This view-counting doesn't actually show how many people has READ your subjects, but just randomly pass by your blog. It's kinda sad, isn't it? There I was, thinking someone actually does feel me or feel the same way or has experienced all this, yet it is all a joke. But that is the price to pay. In every thing you do, there is doubt. And to truly know the love of doing something because of yourself, you have to overcome that one day. When you'll get to that, you'll win. When it's not about the views; but the effort, love and passion you put into each subject. Of course sometimes you must check who passed by your blog, where do they come from or what profit did you make (if you have ads on your blog). It's for motivation and generally to know how you're doing. But, for me at least, it's about how much and what I post. It's like I know somewhere in my subconscious that someone does read my blog, that someone does appreciate all the things I write about. That someone does make an effort and visit my site. But that's just one of many things I'll never know and can just take a chance on. We all dream of 10k views and many comments, regards, praises and compliments that are just a normal part of life of successful bloggers. But to have that, you kinda have to also live somewhere that things do happen and are happening. Of course, you have to be gifted, too. But you can also achieve so much just by experiences, little imagination and that true dedication and love. If you're doing something with love, you'll do it great. And if you're good at something never do it for free.

 For the end, I just hope one day I'll be successful as a writer or blogger or just anything connected with words, feelings and the world around us. This is kinda my dream. Yes, yes it is. To be able to write just about anything and to already have so many skills that you can make it a online hit. Or not online, maybe a New York Times best seller. But most of all; be proud of myself and my work and be happy with myself. To find myself and be confident enough to go my own way. And that is what I think the point of all this. Maybe to start finding yourself, start getting to know more of you, what you really want in life, what makes you happy, what is your interest. To finally realize what you want to be in life and if you're bold enough to go through anything to get it. Cause what's the point of life if you're not doing what makes you happy or what you enjoy in? And if your goals don't scare you, they're not big enough. All you have to do is just keep on doing it. Keep on telling yourself you can make it, keep on trying. Cause one day; the odds will be in your favor.

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