I was extremely bored the other day so I decided to go downstairs to check up on my family. They seem like nice people. Just kidding, I'm not that anti-social (yet). I do come downstairs once or twice a day (read: sarcasm). Anyway, since my boredom couldn't be washed away by all the fascinating services my computer offers, I decided to turn on TV on a random channel. It happened to be set right on the MTV channel and guess what was on the listing? You guessed correctly - the Plain Jane. I watched that show two or three times before and I loved it because Louise Roe actually put some confidence in that girls' life and she finally showed them that being a woman is a gift. But it's probably been like one year or one year and a half since I last watched the show. My present opinion about the show? Totally sucks.
Why would I ever want to change my opinion so drastically about some thing, you probably ask. The thing is, I realize that times change and that nowadays people will do all sorts of things just for the publicity, attention and recognition. The sad part is that I used to love Plain Jane and the whole goal of the show, but now I think like the whole point of making girls realize how beautiful they are, how they can capture that beauty and create it, has drained out. What makes me say that? The episode I was watching was about this red haired girl that was sort of tomboy-ish and had a crush on a friend. Why she turned to Louise Roe I have absolutely no freaking idea, because the girl seemed very friendly, kind and genuinely smart. But why again to girls come to Louise Roe? Because they want to change their life and become someone people could admire from afar. I accepted that point of view for a certain period of time of the episode, but towards the transformation itself I started noticing how Louise started to push that girl into thinking that for feeling pretty and good about yourself you need to put a dress and make-up on which is a totally misguided way of boosting a girl's confidence. Because in my perspective the point of boosting a girl's self-esteem is to let her know that she can feel good and confident in anything she's wearing and that no matter how people see her, her confidence and well-being only depends on her. Not society. And this show is proving the exact opposite.
I understand that some girls need some sort of confirmation that they do look beautiful and worthy. But I think that's pathetic. Because if you have that low self-esteem you need an a lot more extensive therapy than shopping therapy. You don't build up your self-esteem in like one day or one week. A long process of autogenous training is needed for accomplishing that state of mind when nothing can put you down like that again. That's what it's all about. Not about if society is going to accept you. And of course society will never be pleased. The moment when you start to care about what society thinks and how to please it, you lose and they win. What will truly make you unique and invincible is to be yourself and don't care about who might like you and who not. Because the truth is, not everyone will always like you. And when someone doesn't like you means that you are doing something for yourself, you stood up for something true and your own. That's a trait not so many today still possess and if you ask me, not something some people still admire. Why? Because a) it's like extinct already and b) people don't appreciate originality, authenticity and simple and plain kindness anymore, but simply how you look and how you're going to impress someone with that. Beautiful things/people don't seek for attention. For they are so interesting that only the worthy people notice them. People who truly deserve you.
Naturally, we are all always seeking for confirmation and that little something that makes us feel better inside. For example when someone calls you pretty or that you look lovely today. That's a sweet compliment that can make your day from rock bottom to feeling like heaven. That happens on a daily basis. But you know what doesn't and it's basically a lot more important to the soul than complimenting your looks? Saying things like: "Oh, that's a great way of thinking!" or "That's so smart and innovative, I like your idea" or simply "Your concepts are very admiring." If you think about it, no one says shit like that anymore. Because its simply either embarrassing or silly to say stuff like that because (here we are again, at the beginning) the person would just stare at you blankly thinking if you just came back from the 17th century. That's actually pretty sad. Because in my opinion, true beauty expresses through the way of thinking, your concepts and principles. Sure, a beauty can have such angelic face and charm, but what does she know about Palestine and Muslim conflict? What can she tell you about recent beheading, world politics or any kind of conflicts going on in the world that for a change don't include celebrity gossip, fashion and rumors. What beauty is truly based on is the beauty of knowledge and curiosity of knowing, the craving of wanting to know more. And that's what they should teach girls. To learn to love their brains, not by how they look.
And for some time, I still liked the show. But now I've seen how Louise tries to change girls in stupid dolls to pleasure boys. I think more than anything this show is actually persuading girls to simply become object to satisfy the society itself. That's actually pretty devastating and sad fact because the whole idea isn't that bad, but what they did with it or how they developed it is totally misguided.
I believe true acceptance of who you are and what you are has to start with you and you alone. No TV show or fashionable woman is going to help you if you aren't willing to help yourself. I think it's absurd they present self-esteem that way - as if it is so easy to overcome that. Because it's far from easy as that. It takes time, effort and true fucking grit. And that ain't gonna come by jumping off some cliff and thinking that hardest thing is behind you. Because that guy you're getting all cute for and making all these invisible strong choices, is going to dump you or marry you. And it is more likely the first option will happen, because those girls on this show are mostly teens and if you get married in your teens... You're either pregnant or really naive.
Anyway, the famous quote by Christopher Barzak from One for the Sorrow goes: "Don't ever put your happiness in someone else's hands. They'll drop it. They'll drop it every time." I don't want to be a buzz killer but I would like to be honest and if you're reading this already you might've accepted the fact that I am very sharp-tongued already. Because once you do put all of your happiness in someone else's hands it is bound to end ugly. This is not true for effort and love that you contribute to the happy relationship, but you get what I mean.
Your self-esteem is not built on making yourself feel good for others. Your confidence is not based on how people perceive you. These things are crucial to building good image about yourself and if you start off by doing it for somebody else, it's not a good start. The most important thing you got to understand with this issue is that old habits die hard and that world isn't as obsessed with you as you think. It's basically too obsessed with proving to people it's obsessed with you. So don't bother if some days you look like shit. Because others you shine bright like sunshine. Top priority is that you and you alone feel good and comfortable in your own skin, no matter what others say.
Why would I ever want to change my opinion so drastically about some thing, you probably ask. The thing is, I realize that times change and that nowadays people will do all sorts of things just for the publicity, attention and recognition. The sad part is that I used to love Plain Jane and the whole goal of the show, but now I think like the whole point of making girls realize how beautiful they are, how they can capture that beauty and create it, has drained out. What makes me say that? The episode I was watching was about this red haired girl that was sort of tomboy-ish and had a crush on a friend. Why she turned to Louise Roe I have absolutely no freaking idea, because the girl seemed very friendly, kind and genuinely smart. But why again to girls come to Louise Roe? Because they want to change their life and become someone people could admire from afar. I accepted that point of view for a certain period of time of the episode, but towards the transformation itself I started noticing how Louise started to push that girl into thinking that for feeling pretty and good about yourself you need to put a dress and make-up on which is a totally misguided way of boosting a girl's confidence. Because in my perspective the point of boosting a girl's self-esteem is to let her know that she can feel good and confident in anything she's wearing and that no matter how people see her, her confidence and well-being only depends on her. Not society. And this show is proving the exact opposite.
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| via: http://meparlaredonna.gqitalia.it |
Naturally, we are all always seeking for confirmation and that little something that makes us feel better inside. For example when someone calls you pretty or that you look lovely today. That's a sweet compliment that can make your day from rock bottom to feeling like heaven. That happens on a daily basis. But you know what doesn't and it's basically a lot more important to the soul than complimenting your looks? Saying things like: "Oh, that's a great way of thinking!" or "That's so smart and innovative, I like your idea" or simply "Your concepts are very admiring." If you think about it, no one says shit like that anymore. Because its simply either embarrassing or silly to say stuff like that because (here we are again, at the beginning) the person would just stare at you blankly thinking if you just came back from the 17th century. That's actually pretty sad. Because in my opinion, true beauty expresses through the way of thinking, your concepts and principles. Sure, a beauty can have such angelic face and charm, but what does she know about Palestine and Muslim conflict? What can she tell you about recent beheading, world politics or any kind of conflicts going on in the world that for a change don't include celebrity gossip, fashion and rumors. What beauty is truly based on is the beauty of knowledge and curiosity of knowing, the craving of wanting to know more. And that's what they should teach girls. To learn to love their brains, not by how they look.
And for some time, I still liked the show. But now I've seen how Louise tries to change girls in stupid dolls to pleasure boys. I think more than anything this show is actually persuading girls to simply become object to satisfy the society itself. That's actually pretty devastating and sad fact because the whole idea isn't that bad, but what they did with it or how they developed it is totally misguided.
I believe true acceptance of who you are and what you are has to start with you and you alone. No TV show or fashionable woman is going to help you if you aren't willing to help yourself. I think it's absurd they present self-esteem that way - as if it is so easy to overcome that. Because it's far from easy as that. It takes time, effort and true fucking grit. And that ain't gonna come by jumping off some cliff and thinking that hardest thing is behind you. Because that guy you're getting all cute for and making all these invisible strong choices, is going to dump you or marry you. And it is more likely the first option will happen, because those girls on this show are mostly teens and if you get married in your teens... You're either pregnant or really naive.
Anyway, the famous quote by Christopher Barzak from One for the Sorrow goes: "Don't ever put your happiness in someone else's hands. They'll drop it. They'll drop it every time." I don't want to be a buzz killer but I would like to be honest and if you're reading this already you might've accepted the fact that I am very sharp-tongued already. Because once you do put all of your happiness in someone else's hands it is bound to end ugly. This is not true for effort and love that you contribute to the happy relationship, but you get what I mean.
Your self-esteem is not built on making yourself feel good for others. Your confidence is not based on how people perceive you. These things are crucial to building good image about yourself and if you start off by doing it for somebody else, it's not a good start. The most important thing you got to understand with this issue is that old habits die hard and that world isn't as obsessed with you as you think. It's basically too obsessed with proving to people it's obsessed with you. So don't bother if some days you look like shit. Because others you shine bright like sunshine. Top priority is that you and you alone feel good and comfortable in your own skin, no matter what others say.
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