And I must confess that my kind of addiction is daydreaming, for quite some time now. I don't know if it's a good thing or if it'll solve anything (which I'm pretty sure it won't) but it does make the pain go away. It does kinda grabs me away from this cruel reality and I think that's what everybody needs from time to time. I even think that a daily dose of daydreaming heals the heart, soothes the soul and strengthens the imagination. Sometimes we think that the effect is actually the opposite but I find it like a comfort to my mind that is too often under a big pressure and holds so much burden. It needs to loosen up sometimes and it just feels nice that like (even if it's going in my head) things are going my way, that finally I'm his girl and that he is my man and that he makes me feel like the luckiest person in the room and the opposite. It makes me smile and forget for a moment about all the stressful and bad things that are going on right now in my life. It makes me believe that everything's going to be alright, even though that depends on which mood I'm in. If I start daydreaming and feel like desperate, hopeless and sad, I'll probably end up crying later over something I can't have. But if I start daydreaming with a happy mood there are two endings: 1. the first one is kinda similar to the one before like when I end up crying, but here is more like sliding into "empty" mood of feeling nothing, feeling completely lost and numb. That's the freakiest one and that's the one I've been trying to avoid ever since I could analyse those feelings. 2. and this one is the best way it could all come up to: feeling even better, feeling determined, brave and omnipotent. It takes me to the higher level, to the clouds. Feels pretty nice, but I eventually remind myself that I'll have to come back down sooner or later. So it's better if I just give it all up and focus on other things like school or being a good daughter. But still, in the corner of my mind, I have his charming, handsome silhouette in my mind and I find hope in it. I find love and trust and safety in it and I just pray that I will, one day, really taste it, too. Him being mine, me being his. One day.
But things usually don't happen the way we want them to. It can lead to disappointment, sadness and depression, feeling ignored and underrated. When it's normally not even like that. It makes you wander about things that have like zero chances of coming true and you're very much aware of the chances, but you still hope. And like not hoping in a good way but wishing and waiting on things that will really never gonna happen. My point is that daydreaming itself can be dangerous. It can make you wish for the things you can never have. And at some point, you might never come out of that dreaming, those dreams become you and you will stay in that hole forever, not able to return into the reality, if you can even separate them. I'm not saying daydreaming is such a bad and horrific thing, but so many were lost in their fantasies, wishes and expectations that it drove them mad. Eventually the doctors probably found out that they were really sick in their head, but if you're naive enough and don't know what to do with the people around you, you can build walls around you and your only company will be your second reality, the one made up in your head, and you'll just keep wandering what's it like out there. You'll shut yourself down and you'll do a favor to no one really.
But things usually don't happen the way we want them to. It can lead to disappointment, sadness and depression, feeling ignored and underrated. When it's normally not even like that. It makes you wander about things that have like zero chances of coming true and you're very much aware of the chances, but you still hope. And like not hoping in a good way but wishing and waiting on things that will really never gonna happen. My point is that daydreaming itself can be dangerous. It can make you wish for the things you can never have. And at some point, you might never come out of that dreaming, those dreams become you and you will stay in that hole forever, not able to return into the reality, if you can even separate them. I'm not saying daydreaming is such a bad and horrific thing, but so many were lost in their fantasies, wishes and expectations that it drove them mad. Eventually the doctors probably found out that they were really sick in their head, but if you're naive enough and don't know what to do with the people around you, you can build walls around you and your only company will be your second reality, the one made up in your head, and you'll just keep wandering what's it like out there. You'll shut yourself down and you'll do a favor to no one really.
But just like the title says, we get addicted to things that take away the pain, the pain reality is causing us and we just want to runaway to a happy "Neverland" kind of place and never return. But we can't. We can't do that and just leave everything we have achieved in this life, we can't abandon our parents and friends and loved ones, we can't just throw away all that we've lived through, all the courage we gathered to get where we're standing now. We just can't and sometimes you need to go out, breathe and remind yourself of who you are and what you want in life and who you want to be. You have to think about those three crucial points because they're who you are. They make you and through time they change and that's how you change, that's how you develop, that's how you create and never stop changing and learning. That's how you are eternal and infinite, how your mind and soul never die. To keep them young, to keep them blooming and blossoming. It's not about being physically young and attractive, it's in the mind and how you are strong and sure about what you feel. I'm not talking about feelings such as love and friendship and creating business, because some things just take time to grow. I'm talking about your principals and how you must never ever lose that. Never lose your dignity and respect for yourself because once you've lost that - you can never return. I'm not trying to be spooky, but that's the truth or at least that's how I see it.
Life is made of good things and bad things. Happy and sad moments, courage and regret, love and hate, birth and death. At the end I started to list the most common occurrences or the most frequent parts of our lives. Most basic ones. To let you know that we deal with these things differently. To let you know that with every noun I would list each person would feel different; some would see a picture or an event, others would see a word written in their head, yet some would act with a certain move or reaction, a reflex. We had this kind a lesson with my psychologist in my class in school the other day. It really imprinted in my memory as a really useful function of our body that we can use anytime. Anyway, how we deal with things is who we are. They still don't completely define us though, but they are important part of our lives because we come across any kinds of obstacles through the day, let alone in a year. So we learn: or to live with it and finding a way that we can kindly and smoothly make it through the day or we can suffer the permanent pains and consequences if we don't adjust. I think it really matters that we find a way how to move on, how to find most effective solution to a certain problem or just dealing with life like finding a restaurant or picking up a package at the post office. These daily activities or "challenges" make us independent, strong and ourselves. We are getting carved out of every thing we learn in a day, so that's how it matters what kind of way of sorting things out are we addicted to.
It may seem harmless and totally innocent - the thing that we get through the day. Of course it depends on what kind of thing it is. It can be a teddy bear, a meditation or some kind of ritual you do every day that keeps you calm and in the "shape". Yet there can be really dangerous stuff: things that can affect your brains pretty badly or even your health (mostly the latter). Thins like cigarettes or any kind of drug that becomes a routine to you through the years. And I get it that some people just need a relaxation to let things sink in or to let things go. But I'm sad to think that so many people choose this way of letting the stress out because it is not solving anything. It may seem like it for about ten minutes, but then you wake up and realize you didn't solve anything at all and it just pushes you deeper into the hole of depression and you keep bubbling things up until you just snap. That's not a way to do things. I know how harsh it sounds but you just have to put yourself together. For your own sake. Because now you see: cigarettes and things like that can be quite accurate to daydreaming, we can say it is some sort of daydreaming, don't you think? It's a time you spent only with yourself, you get to thinking and normally you end up convincing yourself that you are okay, but in reality (which is a bitch) you're just getting addicted, betrayed, distracted, avoiding issues and fooled.
Anyway, we all need some sort of addiction and I just hope that in most cases it's a healthy one. I know that's not always the case, I just hope many don't go on that path. I've seen too many beautiful people getting hurt, rundown and neglected, being out on a limb. It's sad and not kind of lifestyle I want to see. But yet again, we create this concepts in our head of perfect way of life and we are completely disappointed when life proves us wrong. When we ourselves are let down by life. How we're hoping for a better world by sitting at home, doing nothing. I think too many people are trying to find a perfect person instead of becoming a better person. Too many live in their fantasies of a dream we should all live, but life isn't like that. Life is not fair, life will never go your way and life does not grant wishes. You just get lucky. That's how I see it, although I believe in karma and its powers. So I'd rather be good and at least have false hope if not real one and expect something than always being unsure and already feeling like you've let down every single person who you thought cared about you or you cared about them. It's a waste of time. So better get on your feet and make something out of yourself.
Life is made of good things and bad things. Happy and sad moments, courage and regret, love and hate, birth and death. At the end I started to list the most common occurrences or the most frequent parts of our lives. Most basic ones. To let you know that we deal with these things differently. To let you know that with every noun I would list each person would feel different; some would see a picture or an event, others would see a word written in their head, yet some would act with a certain move or reaction, a reflex. We had this kind a lesson with my psychologist in my class in school the other day. It really imprinted in my memory as a really useful function of our body that we can use anytime. Anyway, how we deal with things is who we are. They still don't completely define us though, but they are important part of our lives because we come across any kinds of obstacles through the day, let alone in a year. So we learn: or to live with it and finding a way that we can kindly and smoothly make it through the day or we can suffer the permanent pains and consequences if we don't adjust. I think it really matters that we find a way how to move on, how to find most effective solution to a certain problem or just dealing with life like finding a restaurant or picking up a package at the post office. These daily activities or "challenges" make us independent, strong and ourselves. We are getting carved out of every thing we learn in a day, so that's how it matters what kind of way of sorting things out are we addicted to.
It may seem harmless and totally innocent - the thing that we get through the day. Of course it depends on what kind of thing it is. It can be a teddy bear, a meditation or some kind of ritual you do every day that keeps you calm and in the "shape". Yet there can be really dangerous stuff: things that can affect your brains pretty badly or even your health (mostly the latter). Thins like cigarettes or any kind of drug that becomes a routine to you through the years. And I get it that some people just need a relaxation to let things sink in or to let things go. But I'm sad to think that so many people choose this way of letting the stress out because it is not solving anything. It may seem like it for about ten minutes, but then you wake up and realize you didn't solve anything at all and it just pushes you deeper into the hole of depression and you keep bubbling things up until you just snap. That's not a way to do things. I know how harsh it sounds but you just have to put yourself together. For your own sake. Because now you see: cigarettes and things like that can be quite accurate to daydreaming, we can say it is some sort of daydreaming, don't you think? It's a time you spent only with yourself, you get to thinking and normally you end up convincing yourself that you are okay, but in reality (which is a bitch) you're just getting addicted, betrayed, distracted, avoiding issues and fooled.
Anyway, we all need some sort of addiction and I just hope that in most cases it's a healthy one. I know that's not always the case, I just hope many don't go on that path. I've seen too many beautiful people getting hurt, rundown and neglected, being out on a limb. It's sad and not kind of lifestyle I want to see. But yet again, we create this concepts in our head of perfect way of life and we are completely disappointed when life proves us wrong. When we ourselves are let down by life. How we're hoping for a better world by sitting at home, doing nothing. I think too many people are trying to find a perfect person instead of becoming a better person. Too many live in their fantasies of a dream we should all live, but life isn't like that. Life is not fair, life will never go your way and life does not grant wishes. You just get lucky. That's how I see it, although I believe in karma and its powers. So I'd rather be good and at least have false hope if not real one and expect something than always being unsure and already feeling like you've let down every single person who you thought cared about you or you cared about them. It's a waste of time. So better get on your feet and make something out of yourself.
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