"New Year, new me," would kinda be the most used sentence in the last month of every year. I think it is way overrated - the way people think everything is going to change the next year and how they are gonna change, too. You see, I believe in changes. I'm not saying people changing is something I do not approve or think it's meaningless. I just think it's pathetic and senseless to think you can only change in the like first month of the new year and that if you don't change by the end of that month or maximum to the end of the second to third month of the new year, you have no chances whatsoever to be a new person or at least changing a few habits you wanted to get rid of. I think that's completely misguided. People live in this fantasy of magic months like December and January are and that in only these two months miracles do happen. They're in love with the idea of change (or changing) and then doing nothing about it. I must confess that I myself often do the same, but we all do. We're human, we forget, we do it all over again. But to do it repetitively every year, it's just too much. We have to have some limits for ourselves, something to live by, something that motivates us. Or else we can just sit at home and overthink about our flaws and what we want to change in our life or in the world. But if you don't start with yourself, who will?
Things change. Things don't always go as we planned them. There is a beautiful quote by Dalai Lama that goes: "Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck." It's all about letting it go, going with the flow. I know it gets hard sometimes and sometimes life just sucks, but remember that every dark cloud has a silver lining. Always after every bad things a good thing comes. And I sorta started to live by that. My mom thought me that. And it is truly a good and effective way of getting through all the rough situations in life. Because those will always accompany you in life and you can't get around them, you must get through them because the things that happen in that kind of situations, the things you learn and those new experiences you gain are the important things that you keep inside forever and throughout the whole lifetime. Willy-nilly you will come across those things, if you haven't already. And if you think you can't handle them it's okay to feel like mess from time to time. It's okay if you don't have your life quite figured out inside out. You're human and you're not alone. Many people feel the same as you do and that is a really good comfort for me. I always think how bad I could have it and I think that I should be happy with who I am and what I possess and keep going with life. You must move on, you mustn't live in the past.
My every year resolution would be to be happy and find someone. Someone I would totally and completely get along with. And the more I think about the last sentence I wrote, the more it occurs me that my wish for the past two/three years came true. I totally did! I've met so many new people and I'm glad that I did meet the people I did. The people that make my everyday brighter, the people I despise, the people I laugh with and the people that at first glance destroyed my life. I'm grateful for all of them. For each and every single one that appeared in my life. And it doesn't matter to me for how long. Even if it was only for a day, a month or eight years. The only thing I know is that I wouldn't be what I am today without them. Without them shaping my world as it is today.
And I can say for myself that throughout many years so far, but especially this year the 2013, I've learned how to appreciate the "bad" things that happen in my life. I learned how to see the good sides of them in every situation. And the more I think about the things that have happened this year, the more I'm realizing how glad I am they did. How lucky I am to experience all these things, to go to many new places. I'm looking forward to more exciting challenges, more twisted situations and I hope I'll be as strong as I am in this moment or grow some even more to overcome these challenges. I no longer crave for some people to come back in my life, I no longer want to see them somewhere in the city "by coincidence" just to make them realize how they broke me. If I am already putting myself in that situation, I'd want to see them only for them to realize how good I'm doing without them and that I am happy for what I've learned from them. All the things that will come useful and handy in life. Because people, in general, are shit. I've stopped believing in people long time ago and I'm not sorry. I'm being what I am and I'm starting to not feel ashamed for things I like or dislike, for saying my opinion because the only person that will maybe regret not saying it will be me. And I want to show the world what I'm capable of. I'm starting to understand people around me and also not judging them. Because I understand everybody has a reason for their behavior and everybody has a story that changed them in a way. So I think everybody deserves a chance. A new chance, too.
But most of all, I can say that I've grown very much, too. Not only physically but mentally, too. And so I really want to make this New Year special. And by special I mean celebrating or at least spending it with someone special. Now I've been spending it with my family for whole my life and I want to make a difference this time. I've already agreed with my best friend but I wish there would be someone else, too. As for me as for her, too. I think I can say we're both unhappily in love and I really can't figure it out why can't the good girls finally get some of the love that is so widely shared everywhere around us that is making us sick. For myself I hope that I better have another person or a bottle of vodka on my lips by the time clocks strikes midnight on the very first day of the new year. Well, I can hope, right? I mean, I also do not want to get so wasted that I wouldn't even know who I am kissing, but being in a company of an opposite sex is pretty much my only wish for this New Years Eve. I know I'll be having a good time since I'll be surrounded with a person I really like and am happy when I'm around her, but I just can't realize why can't we once for a change post a picture on Facebook each kissing a guy we want and being all sassy and everybody would be jealous of us. Oh well, like they say: All in good time. But hell, we've been waiting a good time indeed and I'm getting sick of spending yet another year alone and thinking about the next year so early already. Thinking if I'll ever have a Valentine, will love find me in the blossom of the spring, will a hot boy finally come to me and talk to me, will I go to a party and look smokin' hot and will I meet a cute boy and spend the following cold months in his warm embrace. Well, a girl can dream. And once for a change, please let that dream come true.
But it's all in the mind and for this year I've set my mind on happiness. On pure, killing, contagious and annoying happiness. No matter if I'll be kissing a pair of a man's warm lips or a cold bottle, containing poison for my brains. I will be having a good time and I'll make the following year even greater than this was. That is my promise for myself. This is something I'll be saying to myself each time life gets hard. I'm not afraid of facing the rough parts of life (but trust me, I've been through a few) because I know after everything I've been through, I can pick myself up. There is a quote by Josephine Hart that goes: "Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive." And not only that, we know how to survive. I believe each person is damaged once in their life. And that makes us all a bit stronger each hour. But the only thing I'm afraid of is that yet another year I only dreamed of being loved. Being in love and getting love in return. Now, this seems something so far away in the distance, something so close yet so far, something unreachable. I wish one day I will think of the times I was writing this and I'll say to myself how stupid I was for thinking no one will ever love. I wish that'd be a time when I'd have a lover by my side, someone to hold me, someone to stroke my cheek, someone to kiss my neck.
Hell, I've dig way too deep into the details. But these are the details. My details, my details of the love I wish to have. Does nobody dream of that? Does no one ever get what they want? There are 7 billion people on this planet and I'm pretty damn sure at least some must get what they wish for. And then I think if what I wish for is really that unreachable, that far away. And it occurs to me that no, it is not, I just have to dare. I just have to dare to once for a change (also me doing something for myself, not only waiting for life to do something for me) jump into the rough and dangerous waters of love blindfold. To have the guts to dare. And that is my resolution. To be brave, to dare, to not be afraid of loving. Not thinking of the consequences of loving and getting hurt. So I'm entering in the new year confident and filled with love ready to be shared with that one special person I know I will find. Away with negativity, away with bad and dark thoughts. Hello positiveness, earned happiness and bunch of new clothes!
My every year resolution would be to be happy and find someone. Someone I would totally and completely get along with. And the more I think about the last sentence I wrote, the more it occurs me that my wish for the past two/three years came true. I totally did! I've met so many new people and I'm glad that I did meet the people I did. The people that make my everyday brighter, the people I despise, the people I laugh with and the people that at first glance destroyed my life. I'm grateful for all of them. For each and every single one that appeared in my life. And it doesn't matter to me for how long. Even if it was only for a day, a month or eight years. The only thing I know is that I wouldn't be what I am today without them. Without them shaping my world as it is today.
And I can say for myself that throughout many years so far, but especially this year the 2013, I've learned how to appreciate the "bad" things that happen in my life. I learned how to see the good sides of them in every situation. And the more I think about the things that have happened this year, the more I'm realizing how glad I am they did. How lucky I am to experience all these things, to go to many new places. I'm looking forward to more exciting challenges, more twisted situations and I hope I'll be as strong as I am in this moment or grow some even more to overcome these challenges. I no longer crave for some people to come back in my life, I no longer want to see them somewhere in the city "by coincidence" just to make them realize how they broke me. If I am already putting myself in that situation, I'd want to see them only for them to realize how good I'm doing without them and that I am happy for what I've learned from them. All the things that will come useful and handy in life. Because people, in general, are shit. I've stopped believing in people long time ago and I'm not sorry. I'm being what I am and I'm starting to not feel ashamed for things I like or dislike, for saying my opinion because the only person that will maybe regret not saying it will be me. And I want to show the world what I'm capable of. I'm starting to understand people around me and also not judging them. Because I understand everybody has a reason for their behavior and everybody has a story that changed them in a way. So I think everybody deserves a chance. A new chance, too.
But most of all, I can say that I've grown very much, too. Not only physically but mentally, too. And so I really want to make this New Year special. And by special I mean celebrating or at least spending it with someone special. Now I've been spending it with my family for whole my life and I want to make a difference this time. I've already agreed with my best friend but I wish there would be someone else, too. As for me as for her, too. I think I can say we're both unhappily in love and I really can't figure it out why can't the good girls finally get some of the love that is so widely shared everywhere around us that is making us sick. For myself I hope that I better have another person or a bottle of vodka on my lips by the time clocks strikes midnight on the very first day of the new year. Well, I can hope, right? I mean, I also do not want to get so wasted that I wouldn't even know who I am kissing, but being in a company of an opposite sex is pretty much my only wish for this New Years Eve. I know I'll be having a good time since I'll be surrounded with a person I really like and am happy when I'm around her, but I just can't realize why can't we once for a change post a picture on Facebook each kissing a guy we want and being all sassy and everybody would be jealous of us. Oh well, like they say: All in good time. But hell, we've been waiting a good time indeed and I'm getting sick of spending yet another year alone and thinking about the next year so early already. Thinking if I'll ever have a Valentine, will love find me in the blossom of the spring, will a hot boy finally come to me and talk to me, will I go to a party and look smokin' hot and will I meet a cute boy and spend the following cold months in his warm embrace. Well, a girl can dream. And once for a change, please let that dream come true.But it's all in the mind and for this year I've set my mind on happiness. On pure, killing, contagious and annoying happiness. No matter if I'll be kissing a pair of a man's warm lips or a cold bottle, containing poison for my brains. I will be having a good time and I'll make the following year even greater than this was. That is my promise for myself. This is something I'll be saying to myself each time life gets hard. I'm not afraid of facing the rough parts of life (but trust me, I've been through a few) because I know after everything I've been through, I can pick myself up. There is a quote by Josephine Hart that goes: "Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive." And not only that, we know how to survive. I believe each person is damaged once in their life. And that makes us all a bit stronger each hour. But the only thing I'm afraid of is that yet another year I only dreamed of being loved. Being in love and getting love in return. Now, this seems something so far away in the distance, something so close yet so far, something unreachable. I wish one day I will think of the times I was writing this and I'll say to myself how stupid I was for thinking no one will ever love. I wish that'd be a time when I'd have a lover by my side, someone to hold me, someone to stroke my cheek, someone to kiss my neck.
Hell, I've dig way too deep into the details. But these are the details. My details, my details of the love I wish to have. Does nobody dream of that? Does no one ever get what they want? There are 7 billion people on this planet and I'm pretty damn sure at least some must get what they wish for. And then I think if what I wish for is really that unreachable, that far away. And it occurs to me that no, it is not, I just have to dare. I just have to dare to once for a change (also me doing something for myself, not only waiting for life to do something for me) jump into the rough and dangerous waters of love blindfold. To have the guts to dare. And that is my resolution. To be brave, to dare, to not be afraid of loving. Not thinking of the consequences of loving and getting hurt. So I'm entering in the new year confident and filled with love ready to be shared with that one special person I know I will find. Away with negativity, away with bad and dark thoughts. Hello positiveness, earned happiness and bunch of new clothes!
Komentarji
Objavite komentar